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The Map in the Mist

  Prologue There is something that is sacred about rambling. No demand of a destination or deadline, just the courage to wander and the wisdom to listen when life whispers its secrets. That’s what Reenie would say, or at least think, as she scribbled her thoughts onto a napkin at the coffee shop, her words weaving their way into the hearts of her readers. Today’s story wasn’t hers, but it was one she might tell, if only to remind us that the road less traveled isn’t always paved, but it’s always worth walking down.  -----   The Call of Somewhere Else Ellie Marlow didn’t plan on getting lost. She wasn’t the type to get lost. Her planner set perpetually color-coded; her sock drawer, neatly arranged by shades of white, gray and black. She wasn’t one to get lost or even proceed anywhere without a plan. She had a system for everything: meal prepping, grocery shopping, even “spontaneous outings”, which she scheduled bi-weekly. Somewhere between turning 40...
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You're you, no matter where you are

Sometimes, we imagine that being in a different location will transform us, but the truth is, no matter where we go, we carry who we are with us. While change can certainly lead to growth, our core selves remain the same. We recently returned from an incredible trip to Europe, and this realization struck me. As a family, we were no different in France or Italy than we are at home. My husband still wore his Carhartt shirts, baseball cap, and comfy pants. My son still had his music playing in at least one ear and was calm about everything. My daughter was still stressed about catching up on her schoolwork or practicing her upcoming solos, and I still found it hard to completely relax. My husband still tried to sabotage every photo opportunity, inspiring the kids to do the same.  The same insecurities I felt at home, I felt on this trip. I still preferred flip flips for walking over other more "practical" shoes and ended up wearing them the majority of the time. (Despite the ver...

What motivates our efforts?

 A little over a year ago, I made an intentional decision to give meaningful effort and energy to people who meant a lot to me. I was changing jobs and was going to be seeing some of these people less and was feeling that in a big way. I invited them to my home for a fun gathering.  I wrote a personalized message to each of them sharing what they meant to me, and gave it with a small gift. Following that, I made efforts to reach out, dropping gifts by their homes, sending notes, texts, flowers etc. Then I gradually eased off, seeing who responded. The majority didn't.  While this was to be expected, it was also disappointing. During this time, I started building new relationships. Then, a big unexpected move happened. Again, it was going to change who I saw on the regular basis. I wanted to keep connection.  I wanted them in my life.  So I wrote, texted, sent gifts, etc. Some responded, some reciprocated, but most didn't. And then it hit me. If I am doing these ...

Reciprocation

When something is reciprocated, it does a multitude of things for us. When love, gifts, efforts, words, actions, are reciprocated, it's like validation that they were given to the right person. We all have experienced opening our hearts to someone only to have them either reject it or just not give theirs back. That always hurts. I have been thinking lately about relationships in which the sharing and loving isn't balanced. I am a person who loves quickly and genuinely cares about people after not much time with them. Even though this is who I am, there is still a hesitation to share all of my heart. This heart of mine has been battered a few too many times.  This means that when I do share my heart, it is not flippantly. Sharing all of me, is an intensely vulnerable thing and comes at a cost.  When it seems it is reciprocated, and the  person shares theirs back, it means the world.  I have had this happen, only to discover later, that that's not how they saw it. Th...