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Reciprocation

When something is reciprocated, it does a multitude of things for us.

When love, gifts, efforts, words, actions, are reciprocated, it's like validation that they were given to the right person.

We all have experienced opening our hearts to someone only to have them either reject it or just not give theirs back. That always hurts.

I have been thinking lately about relationships in which the sharing and loving isn't balanced.


I am a person who loves quickly and genuinely cares about people after not much time with them.

Even though this is who I am, there is still a hesitation to share all of my heart. This heart of mine has been battered a few too many times. 

This means that when I do share my heart, it is not flippantly.


Sharing all of me, is an intensely vulnerable thing and comes at a cost. 

When it seems it is reciprocated, and the  person shares theirs back, it means the world. 

I have had this happen, only to discover later, that that's not how they saw it. They saw us as general acquaintances and not actual friends. They had forgotten the parts of my heart I had shared with them, and that they had shared some of their inner most hurts and thoughts with me. 

It's still one of the most difficult things for my heart to accept even after all these years of loving and building relationships. 

The concept that someone I have chosen to open up to and to trust, has not appreciated or valued it at all. That someone seemed to share their heart with me and appreciate me sharing mine, but in fact didn't see the value in either exchange.

I don't know if this will ever get easier to accept or process. It still knocks me over when it happens.


On the flip side, there are those who do recognize the gift that has been given. 

They recognize the cost with which it was given. And not only do they give that same gift in return, they treasure and protect the gift you gave them. 

These are the relationships to cherish and protect at all costs. 

As I am getting older, I am seeing that those relationships are the exception to the rule and rare. 

They are a treasure.

I am so thankful for those who have not only accepted my heart, but have treasured it as a gift. 

In addition, they have trusted me with the gift of their heart.


Your heart, you as a person, your talents and scars, they are a gift. Never forget that.

If you give that to someone and they don't treasure it, move on to find the ones who do. 

Don't allow it to keep you from giving it to anyone else or being open. 

You will find your people who see it for the gift it is and who will reciprocate it. 

It is worth the wait. 

It is worth the getting past disappointing relationships to reach the good, solid, reciprocal ones.

It is definitely easier said than done and I still struggle with letting go of relationships that I thought were something that they weren't but really, my energy needs to be given to those who reciprocate it and who treasure and value me as well as trusting me to treasure them in return.  Life is too short to waste on chasing people who don't see the value in who you are and what you offer.



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