A little over a year ago, I made an intentional decision to give meaningful effort and energy to people who meant a lot to me. I was changing jobs and was going to be seeing some of these people less and was feeling that in a big way. I invited them to my home for a fun gathering. I wrote a personalized message to each of them sharing what they meant to me, and gave it with a small gift. Following that, I made efforts to reach out, dropping gifts by their homes, sending notes, texts, flowers etc. Then I gradually eased off, seeing who responded. The majority didn't. While this was to be expected, it was also disappointing. During this time, I started building new relationships. Then, a big unexpected move happened. Again, it was going to change who I saw on the regular basis. I wanted to keep connection. I wanted them in my life. So I wrote, texted, sent gifts, etc. Some responded, some reciprocated, but most didn't. And then it hit me. If I am doing these things simply fo
When something is reciprocated, it does a multitude of things for us. When love, gifts, efforts, words, actions, are reciprocated, it's like validation that they were given to the right person. We all have experienced opening our hearts to someone only to have them either reject it or just not give theirs back. That always hurts. I have been thinking lately about relationships in which the sharing and loving isn't balanced. I am a person who loves quickly and genuinely cares about people after not much time with them. Even though this is who I am, there is still a hesitation to share all of my heart. This heart of mine has been battered a few too many times. This means that when I do share my heart, it is not flippantly. Sharing all of me, is an intensely vulnerable thing and comes at a cost. When it seems it is reciprocated, and the person shares theirs back, it means the world. I have had this happen, only to discover later, that that's not how they saw it. They saw