Reenie's Ramblings

No. One. Cares. Sounds harsh, but it's true in many applications. I recently changed jobs and it has been humbling and eye opening. I worked at a place where I gave so much of my time, my heart and my energy.  I worked on vacations, checked my work email every day no matter what day of the week or where I was, (much to my husband's annoyance and worry). I worried about situations that were beyond my control. I cared about every detail of our employees lives, sometimes losing sleep over their loss, hardships and struggles.   When I left, it was like someone hit me upside the head with the realization that my leaving had little to no impact.  (It's a place I am still involved in but in a small way, so I see how it continues to run.) This is not a pity party at all, it was so good to realize and see first hand, that I was replaceable. Easily. While our lives can have impact day to day and make a difference in the lives we interact with, it's not as big of an impact as w...

 "This too shall pass". This is often said as a way to encourage people going through something difficult. A kind reminder that it won't be this difficult forever, it will pass. Recently I thought of this in a different way. This too shall pass in reference to positive experiences. This may seem heavy or negative, but hear me out. Everything passes. Everything is temporary. What this means to me is that it is imperative that I savor the moments that are blissful. It's important that I cherish the friendships that are meaningful and bring joy. It means that you don't know how long you have what you have, so appreciate it. The good, the bad, the hard,  it shall pass. I look back at times in life that felt like they were taking a long time and the struggles that came with that. They're in the past now. I reflect on relationships I had that were for a season. I didn't know they were just for a season at the time, but that connection has passed. The lesson for ...

After my Dad died, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't wait to tell people what they meant to me. It seemed that when people die, that's when everyone shares how they've touched their lives. Why not share that when they are alive to hear it? So I wrote a few blogs about a few people and started making an effort to tell people what they meant to me in person or via messages/letters etc. I haven't been as good at that in more recent years but want to get back to it. Recently, someone went "mama bear" on my behalf, and I was overwhelmed with her love and protectiveness of my heart. It is extra sweet because it wasn't always this way. We became connected because I married her brother. In the beginning, she didn't really have much time for me, and I wasn't sure what to think of her. Over the years, experiences brought separation, but then there were experiences that brought us close together. There were moments where we hurt one another, not inte...

 She could feel it. The fading away to nothing. The slipping into the cracks and folds of existence. The weight of it all was so heavy, and she felt her drive and her joy disappearing. Each day she felt pieces of her core being chipped away by the merciless injustice that was pummeling her, over and over again. Everything she had given, everything she had done, didn't seem to matter anymore. Sorrow was a well-known and much-visited friend. Defeat. She never thought she would reach defeat, but here she was, standing at the doorstep of defeat, trying to find the strength to step back from it. Angry. She was so angry that she wasn't strong enough to overcome it all.  Angry that she let those who harmed her have space in her thoughts.  Angry that things beyond her control still hurt her heart. Angry that she couldn't "snap out of it". Angry that she gave to those who didn't care about what was given. Tired. She was so tired, so weary, it was almost a miracle she f...