Reenie's Ramblings

This photo is a picture of little people my daughter made representing our family including our cat. Throughout this journey of searching for my biological mother, beginning communication with her, I never want to lose sight of the fact I already have an incredible, beautiful little family that loves me so much.   My kids have my heart and I am thankful every day that I get to be their mama.  Any potential relationship gained from this experience is bonus.  I am not looking to replace anything or anyone..... I have so much already.   I do hope that whomever is willing to get to know me from my biological family, gets to know and experience the fact that I have so much heart and so much love to share. There are many things to consider when going down a path like this one.  I hope for those reading who are in similar shoes as me, that you consider it all. My parents who raised me will always be my parents.  They wanted me.  Chose m...

I've always known I was adopted. I am so thankful for this because it saved me from a lot of struggle throughout my childhood.  I will forever be grateful to my parents for being up front about that. Here's my little story.  My parents were told they couldn't have children so they started an adoption journey.... they planned to save for a while but then I was born and suddenly they had a daughter!  A few months later, they discovered my mom was pregnant!  My sister and I are 14 months apart. I never once felt resentment to being adopted or hurt and rejected by my birth Mom.  I always had a sense that it was exactly what was supposed to be.   Even still.... throughout the years, I felt a yearning to know her. As a child I would sometimes lay awake at night, wondering about my birth mom.  Did she think about me? When my birthday happened every year, I always wondered if she was thinking of me that day. Was she happy?  Did I have half sibli...

I've known I was adopted for as long as I can remember.  I am very grateful for this because had it been kept a secret, I would've had some resentment towards my parents. Throughout my entire life, the curiosity about my birth mother and potential birth family has always been there.  The desire to find my birth family has come and gone. Recently, I had a DNA test done to find out my ethnicity which was a surprisingly emotional event for me.  It felt so good to know SOMETHING about my background. Someone asked me recently why I wanted to find my birthmother.  To be honest, throughout my life, my reasoning and motivations for wanting to know have been all over the map.  At times it was simple curiosity, who do I look like?  Who do I get my talents from? There have been times when I have wanted to know for medical reasons. Other times have been far deeper and impossible to explain. I can list several reasons but the point is, there is always...

It'd been one week since my Dad had passed away. I was heading into a convenience store and ran into someone I knew casually.  They asked how I was doing, offered condolences and then proceeded to say, "At least you had time to say good bye, it could've been worse..... he could've died in a sudden accident." Hmm.... yes, I suppose that is true. I got to watch my strong, hard-working Dad shrivel into a thin, barely-recognizable, weak man..... losing his battle with cancer... I suppose it COULD have been worse! I left the conversation a bit upset.... telling myself that the person meant well. This happened over 5 years ago and yet I remember it clear as day. This brings me to my blog today.  I have this "thing". You could call it a pet peeve of mine.... Here are some more examples: I was pregnant with my first child.  I got a paper cut.... the kind where a whole book cut one finger.   Multiple cuts.  It hurt.   I was...