Finding My Birth Mom Part 4: To Consider

This photo is a picture of little people my daughter made representing our family including our cat.

Throughout this journey of searching for my biological mother, beginning communication with her, I never want to lose sight of the fact I already have an incredible, beautiful little family that loves me so much.

My kids have my heart and I am thankful every day that I get to be their mama. Any potential relationship gained from this experience is bonus. I am not looking to replace anything or anyone..... I have so much already.

I do hope that whomever is willing to get to know me from my biological family, gets to know and experience the fact that I have so much heart and so much love to share.

There are many things to consider when going down a path like this one. I hope for those reading who are in similar shoes as me, that you consider it all.

My parents who raised me will always be my parents. They wanted me. Chose me. Loved me. Raised me. No one can replace their role in my life.

While I know this.... I have to make sure that THEY know this. Since my Dad passed away from cancer, I can't share this journey with him, but I can try to make sure my Mom knows that this desire of mine to pursue biological family isn't a threat to her.

I have to consider my children in this. My kids know I was adopted and they know that I have found out who my birth mom is. They are excited for me and hopeful they will get to meet my birth mom some day. While that is all well and good, I have to consider the possibility that won't happen and manage their expectations as well. Far easier said than done. I also know that if I am hurt through this, they will be hurt as well.

This journey has brought out support from those I didn't anticipate and criticism I didn't expect from others. Still working through processing this part......

If you are adopted and considering a journey like this, make sure you are in a place of complete confidence that it is the RIGHT thing for YOU. It's lovely to have support of those who love you and want what is best, but if you don't have that, don't get discouraged. Again, also easier said than done. Unless people have walked in your shoes, they can't even begin to understand what you feel/think/want. They can try, but some of what is felt can't be put into words.

Make sure it is worth the risk for you. Once the reaching out happens, you've committed to something and the outcome could go a million different ways. You could get hurt. Your family could get hurt. Your biological family could get hurt. All worse-case scenarios, but possible. I can't help but have some fear of the unknown.

I know that this next portion of the journey will be taxing emotionally, but I face it with hope and almost a giddy excitement. Granted, I'm an eternal optimist so I tend to look/hope for the brighter side, but I also feel peace that I've started something I am supposed to do.

Who knows what will come of it all.... right now I am patiently waiting for the next part. It's easier to wait at this point, when I know interaction will happen, than it was when I didn't know anything.

Again, thank you for the support and kind words. Being able to share this process in this way has been helpful for me. Thanks for stopping by!

Comments

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