Skip to main content

An adult.... now what?!

When I was about 11 years old, I would sit and dream of the day when I would be old enough to drive.... O MAN!  The freedoms that would come with my ability to drive!  I knew I would have it all if only I have the opportunity to drive. 
It seemed FOREVER away and I remember my mother would say to me "it'll be here soon enough, patience..".  In my head I would think "yeah, mom... sure is taking its time to get here!".

Then my 16th birthday arrived.. FINALLY, I was able to DRIVE!  The weird thing was, even though yes, there was freedom in driving, I also inherited these crazy things called bills. Gas, insurance, oil changes, washer fluid, the list seemed endless. Even so, I found myself looking ahead to even MORE freedom, turning 18!  Then I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted... that was when it would all be perfect!  I couldn't WAIT to graduate high school and be a grown up.

The day after graduation, I moved out... I was an adult for crying out loud! I needed to enjoy my "rights" and "freedoms"!  hmmmm.... now I had rent, electricity and plenty of other bills to add to my list and I found that this "freedom" wasn't quite "as advertised". 
So here's the funny part, at this point I thought "I can't WAIT to get married!" sense a theme here?

This is how I lived the next few years of my life...  couldn't wait to get married, got married at 19,  couldn't wait to own a house, so bought a house, on and on...

So now I am this thing called an adult and I look back wondering, WHY? 
Why was I in such a hurry to get to the next stage? 
Why didn't I enjoy where I was? 
Part of this may be personality, part is just human nature I suppose.
Either way... once I became a parent, and there were all these milestones close together as I watched our babies grow, time suddenly reversed... it was going TOO FAST!

I realized I'm an adult but now what? 
This is not all it was cracked up to be! 
I don't have the wisdom I thought I would have at this point.
I don't have it "easy peasy" like I imagined in my young girl days.
With the freedom of doing what I want when I want, comes responsibility that really changes the whole meaning of "freedoms". 
With each stage, there are new joys, but new pressures, worries and so on. 
When you are SO focused on what's next, you sometimes miss out on what is NOW.

This little rambling stems from the other day, when my little girl, who has just turned 5, who, in my head is still a baby says, "Mommy, when will I be a grown up just like you?"
 I reply, "soon enough sweetie, soon enough". 
This is when irony smiles on me... she says "that will take FOREEEEEVER!" 
No sweetie, actually it doesn't take that long.

Comments

  1. MeganSeptember 24, 2013 at 12:41 AM

    Nicely put! Sounds just like me. I'm trying to learn to enjoy the moment! They are just flying by so fast I get dizzy some days! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. MeganSeptember 24, 2013 at 12:41 AM

    Nicely put! Sounds just like me. I'm trying to learn to enjoy the moment! They are just flying by so fast I get dizzy some days! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ReenieSeptember 25, 2013 at 9:06 PM

      There is so much more joy in living in the moment then always looking ahead.... not always easy though. :) thanks for reading!

      Delete
  3. UnknownSeptember 24, 2013 at 12:40 PM

    And there's no place you can go to turn in your resignation -- once you're an adult, you can't go back! It seems like it takes the rest of your life to learn how to live IN THE MOMENT! We have to stop looking for the next thing that will make us happy . . . it's about learning to live in the moment. And then . . . it goes so fast, like you said!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ReenieSeptember 25, 2013 at 9:06 PM

      So true! :) Sometimes we wish we COULD resign and go back a little ways! :) Thanks for reading!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Finding My Birth Mom Part 1: Searching

I've always known I was adopted. I am so thankful for this because it saved me from a lot of struggle throughout my childhood.  I will forever be grateful to my parents for being up front about that. Here's my little story.  My parents were told they couldn't have children so they started an adoption journey.... they planned to save for a while but then I was born and suddenly they had a daughter!  A few months later, they discovered my mom was pregnant!  My sister and I are 14 months apart. I never once felt resentment to being adopted or hurt and rejected by my birth Mom.  I always had a sense that it was exactly what was supposed to be.   Even still.... throughout the years, I felt a yearning to know her. As a child I would sometimes lay awake at night, wondering about my birth mom.  Did she think about me? When my birthday happened every year, I always wondered if she was thinking of me that day. Was she happy?  Did I have half siblings? Did she want to know a
6 comments
Read more

When I met Grant

I remember the day I met Grant Campbell.  I was checking on my son who was playing in the yard at our new house.  As I rounded the corner, I saw him talking over the fence to a guy I didn't know.  The guy was very tall, had tattoos head to toe and I was instant nervous-mama. I should have known that my sweet child was a better judge of character than I was.  That man he was chatting with was Grant Campbell, our neighbor and later our friend. A few days after, Grant and his wife Michelle brought over a little "welcome to the neighborhood" gift and that's when the friendship was born. They became fast friends.  The guys would go shooting, us girls would have daily chats, coffee and shopping trips together.  They eventually moved from next to us to across the street.  How fun it was to help them plan out their dreams for this house! There were many hours of dinners, chats, phone calls over the next years that created a deep bond between us. Then one day the
2 comments
Read more

Yes, Go to that Funeral. It's Important!

I know people who say "I don't go to funerals". I get it. Sometimes they are uncomfortable. Sometimes they are painful. No one WANTS to feel those things, but I want to tell you why it's important and valuable to be there during those times. First of all, funerals aren't for the deceased, they are for the ones left behind. The ones who loved the deceased. The ones who are faced with loss. Let me tell you what your presence at a funeral can mean. It can mean "I am here because I care about you and the loss you are feeling" It can mean " I am here because the person who has passed meant a lot to me" It can mean "I am here because I've felt a similar pain". You may think your presence at a day like this doesn't have an impact but I can tell you from experience that it does. Those who take time to come share in a last farewell mean more to the family than can be put in to words. Even if you don't k
Post a Comment
Read more

Think twice before you talk to someone about their weight

I recently had someone comment about my weight.... I have gained about 30 pounds in the last months and I started this year doing something about it... but when this person made her comment.... I wanted to scream, cry and of course, eat. When you  comment on someone's weight even if it is in "concern" for them, you are putting them in one of these situations. 1) They feel great the way they are, confident actually, and attractive and now you've cast doubt on all that. 2) They are already self conscious about it and you just made them feel worse. 3) They are aware they are over weight, are already on a diet or exercise plan but now you've made them question whether or not to continue because they don't want you to think they are losing it for you! You know those snide comments or "joking" comments you slip into conversation?  Yea, you're not that sneaky and they can still hurt! Weight is a very personal thing and unfortunately a str
5 comments
Read more

Meeting My Birth Mom Part 2: The Gifts

After the initial meeting and conversation with my Bio Mom and her Husband, we met again to spend a majority of the following day together. This day didn't start as smoothly as the first, but there were still so many parts of the day that were like little gifts for me to open. Throughout this period of time of getting to know one another, I was able to see glimpses into the life of my bio grandparents and mom.  This is a gift I treasure. I was able to learn of some of the hardships that were overcome by previous generations and present ones.  A gift. I heard tales of tragedy, redemption and growth.  A gift. It's like I was taken on a little journey of continued discovery about the threads that make up part of the fabric that I am, that my Bio Mom is, and where some of our strength to endure comes from. Even as she would tell stories about her parents and grandparents, hearing her tell them, gave me more clarity on who she is as well. How she remembers things, how sh
1 comment
Read more