Skip to main content

"Our kids are just super active!" mmmhmm

I realized recently during a conversation that my children seem to others as mild mannered children...
"You're lucky you don't have super active children!" was said to me.

Mild mannered? um no, they are DISCIPLINED children.. there is a difference! 

This is used a lot... "....they just have super active kids so it's hard"

NEWSFLASH: ALLLLL kids are "active". 

Trust me, both my son and my daughter could wear anyone out! 
This is never an excuse for disobedience or disrespectful behavior. 

All children will climb the tables in a restaurant, or yell in public, throw a fit if they are allowed to do so.  All children have the tendency to throw a full on tantrum when they don't get what they want, it's called human nature in a small person.

Our kids tried that too.... but the results weren't worth doing it again and again.

If  you set boundaries (the younger the better) your children will know where they are.

Our kids are far from perfect... but when we tell them NO, or STOP, it has some weight.. they listen!

I am sometimes shocked at what parents allow their children to get away with... Using this "active children" as a reason. (can we say excuse?)

Kids need to play, be active and have fun.  But they also need to know when and where it's ok to be loud, to run etc.

Nothing touches my heart more than when my kids are with a group of children acting in a certain way that we don't allow, and they stop when we call their name...
Yes, they want to be "active" with others, and they start to participate, but when we call their name, tell them to stop, they do... this brings tears to my eyes because I know how hard that is...
Truth is, as an adult, it doesn't get any easier.  We all feel that pull to go along with what others are doing.  This doesn't mean its right.

Setting boundaries when they are little actually helps our children. 
Sometime we have that desire to let things go, look away and always just respond with love. There is truth to this, but if there isn't ANY discipline, we are doing more harm then good to our children.

YOU are the adult!  YOU are the one to correct and mold your children. 
Wouldn't you rather people find your children a joy to be around instead of something to tolerate?

I am in no way an expert on child-rearing... but I do know what I have proven with our two very different children and what I have witnessed others doing with the same results. 
I have made mistakes and there have been reactions a few times that I regretted, but I do NOT regret setting boundaries and rules... I don't regret having certain expectations of behavior and we are reaping the benefits of it now... by having "mild mannered" children. 

Are they always "calm" and "perfect"?  Nope. 

At times I thought my husband was being too strict when our kids were toddlers.... but he got results.
I tended to lean on the "aww, it's ok" side.  Truth is, you can't deny results. Those results are, when I started being consistent with discipline, MY life became easier and my children were easier for everyone to be around.

My kids are not "inactive", (they have more energy than a lot) my children are simply disciplined!

When we teach them "no", and how to live  within a certain standard, we are doing our job as parents and giving them the tools to succeed in life.

Comments

  1. AnonymousSeptember 14, 2014 at 10:19 PM

    You are one smart loving mother!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Finding My Birth Mom Part 1: Searching

I've always known I was adopted. I am so thankful for this because it saved me from a lot of struggle throughout my childhood.  I will forever be grateful to my parents for being up front about that. Here's my little story.  My parents were told they couldn't have children so they started an adoption journey.... they planned to save for a while but then I was born and suddenly they had a daughter!  A few months later, they discovered my mom was pregnant!  My sister and I are 14 months apart. I never once felt resentment to being adopted or hurt and rejected by my birth Mom.  I always had a sense that it was exactly what was supposed to be.   Even still.... throughout the years, I felt a yearning to know her. As a child I would sometimes lay awake at night, wondering about my birth mom.  Did she think about me? When my birthday happened every year, I always wondered if she was thinking of me that day. Was she happy?  Did I have half sibli...
6 comments
Read more

When I met Grant

I remember the day I met Grant Campbell.  I was checking on my son who was playing in the yard at our new house.  As I rounded the corner, I saw him talking over the fence to a guy I didn't know.  The guy was very tall, had tattoos head to toe and I was instant nervous-mama. I should have known that my sweet child was a better judge of character than I was.  That man he was chatting with was Grant Campbell, our neighbor and later our friend. A few days after, Grant and his wife Michelle brought over a little "welcome to the neighborhood" gift and that's when the friendship was born. They became fast friends.  The guys would go shooting, us girls would have daily chats, coffee and shopping trips together.  They eventually moved from next to us to across the street.  How fun it was to help them plan out their dreams for this house! There were many hours of dinners, chats, phone calls over the next years that created a deep bond betw...
2 comments
Read more

Yes, Go to that Funeral. It's Important!

I know people who say "I don't go to funerals". I get it. Sometimes they are uncomfortable. Sometimes they are painful. No one WANTS to feel those things, but I want to tell you why it's important and valuable to be there during those times. First of all, funerals aren't for the deceased, they are for the ones left behind. The ones who loved the deceased. The ones who are faced with loss. Let me tell you what your presence at a funeral can mean. It can mean "I am here because I care about you and the loss you are feeling" It can mean " I am here because the person who has passed meant a lot to me" It can mean "I am here because I've felt a similar pain". You may think your presence at a day like this doesn't have an impact but I can tell you from experience that it does. Those who take time to come share in a last farewell mean more to the family than can be put in to words. Even if you don't k...
Post a Comment
Read more

Think twice before you talk to someone about their weight

I recently had someone comment about my weight.... I have gained about 30 pounds in the last months and I started this year doing something about it... but when this person made her comment.... I wanted to scream, cry and of course, eat. When you  comment on someone's weight even if it is in "concern" for them, you are putting them in one of these situations. 1) They feel great the way they are, confident actually, and attractive and now you've cast doubt on all that. 2) They are already self conscious about it and you just made them feel worse. 3) They are aware they are over weight, are already on a diet or exercise plan but now you've made them question whether or not to continue because they don't want you to think they are losing it for you! You know those snide comments or "joking" comments you slip into conversation?  Yea, you're not that sneaky and they can still hurt! Weight is a very personal thing and unfortunately a str...
5 comments
Read more

Meeting My Birth Mom Part 2: The Gifts

After the initial meeting and conversation with my Bio Mom and her Husband, we met again to spend a majority of the following day together. This day didn't start as smoothly as the first, but there were still so many parts of the day that were like little gifts for me to open. Throughout this period of time of getting to know one another, I was able to see glimpses into the life of my bio grandparents and mom.  This is a gift I treasure. I was able to learn of some of the hardships that were overcome by previous generations and present ones.  A gift. I heard tales of tragedy, redemption and growth.  A gift. It's like I was taken on a little journey of continued discovery about the threads that make up part of the fabric that I am, that my Bio Mom is, and where some of our strength to endure comes from. Even as she would tell stories about her parents and grandparents, hearing her tell them, gave me more clarity on who she is as well. How she remembers things, ...
1 comment
Read more