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Dont Give Up on Your Marriage!

Don't Give Up!  Its about to get SO GOOD!



When we first got married, I was literally head over heals! 
Our first year of marriage was a honeymoon. 
So many firsts.  It was an absolute thrill simply to be his wife....
I couldn't understand how people could EVER divorce or separate! 

Then one day, I got it.  I understood.  I realized in that moment "This is when most people leave".

We hadn't even reached our 3rd anniversary.
I felt we were just roommates not connected in any other way.
I was miserable.
I was going to leave.
I still loved him, but I was so unhappy, so frustrated and so DONE.

I am beyond thankful our story ends differently.

While I am far from a marriage expert, we will be celebrating 11 years this month and I am thankful every day for the man at my side, my partner, my friend, lover.... my husband.

I wish every young couple would read this or at least have a good chat with someone who will tell them this:

There WILL come a time in your marriage where you feel miserable.  Where you feel unloved, uncared for, hopeless.....  DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR MARRAIGE! If you work past this moment, its about to get SO GOOD!

Look at all I would have missed out on had I left the day I loaded all my clothes in the car... the day I was DONE...

We have grown together and separately. 
We have learned to communicate more effectively. 
We have created two beautiful children together that have brought intense joy. 
We have a solid union that I feel lucky every day to simply be a part of.
We are both secure and confident in our marriage... a true gift.
We complete each others thoughts, support each others dreams and desires.
We've built life long friendships together, as a couple.

Look at what I would have missed!!!

When I said my vows before friends and family and God... I promised "for better or worse"

Those words are not in there because they flow nicely, or rhyme well.... They are in there because they are necessary.  Because its easy to love and be faithful and supportive when times are easy... when things are going well...
It's a whole different thing to remain committed when things are hard.... when things are completely void of joy.  This is why we vow for better or WORSE.

No one knows when or what their worst will be.. When you start a life together you cant POSSIBLY know the road ahead... you don't know what your struggles will be.  You have to know that this person you are choosing to spend the rest of your life with is the person who is worth it to you.  The person who chose YOU to go through it all with!

Those who were very close to me during that difficult time (only 2 friends knew my heartache).. are amazed at the relationship I have today. 
Those who have met us recently would never guess we ever had these struggles.

I just felt the need to write this and let people know that struggles in a marriage are inevitable.. no one is immune. 

The person you have chosen to share life with WILL at some point break your heart... they WILL let you down, they will disappoint. 
The fact is, you will do the same to them... and if you are willing to forgive, love and endure... the growth, the respect for another and the deeper rooted love will last a lifetime... you just can't give up on your marriage.
Fight for it!  Stay with it!  Its about to get SO good!

There are expectations of what marriage is supposed to be that can let us down too... those ideals don't happen over night... they take time, living life together and sticking together through it all.

When you have moved past a difficult/trying/tragic time... your bond is stronger than ever. When you have forgiven one another there is a respect and appreciation you wouldn't otherwise have. I know this first hand.

I see so many people hit that point in life where it seems hopeless.. they feel miserable... so they quit, they walk away.. Its easy to do, and I understand that feeling. 

I've also witnessed what that does when there is already children present.  Its heart wrenching.

JUST STICK WITH IT!  The struggle might not end right away.. it might not even turn out the way you think it should... but if you stay committed... and you endure through that storm... the beyond will make it all worth it.  I promise you.

We live in a world where commitment means less and less. 
People walk away so easily... those people are robbing themselves of one of the greatest gifts.

I want to share a quick story before I post..

There was a woman who wanted to leave her husband... she was miserable and broken hearted. 
She went to her Aunt and spilled her heart.
Her Aunt told her "If you have to leave, leave. Just first, please do something for me"
The young woman said "whats that?!"
The Aunt replied "I want you stay a whole month with him... do everything he loves, treat him the absolute best you can, spoil him, cook his favorite meals... treat him like a king for 30 days, that way when you leave he will really know exactly what he's missing without you."
The young woman like the sound of that and promised to do that.
At the end of 30 days the Aunt called to check in. 
"Well, are you packing up to leave him yet?" she asked the young woman.
The young woman replied "No!  I love him TOO much! I could never leave!"

This story has helped me many times in our marriage... to remember sometimes the issues I have are simply selfishness, and when I give of myself to him, treat him better than he treats me, or better than he might deserve... it actually creates a ripple affect the comes back to me... in a huge way.

Its not like we have only had one trying time in our marriage either... its just with time, you prove your love for one another by STAYING.. Then when another struggle comes again... its not hopeless, its not unbearable. 
Not to say you will reach a point where the other person will never again hurt your feelings, or let you down.... nope sorry, we are talking about two human beings coexisting together... there will be conflict even at the 60 year anniversary.... but the love and bond at that point... its absolutely priceless to witness! 

Please, Don't give up on your marriage!

Share this, pass it on.

*I know that there are exceptions to every rule and please don't assume I am advocating staying in an abusive relationship.

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