Conclusions: Dont jump to them

A few years ago, I was at Christmas dinner with family and friends... a few comments were made about "If you just ate one less roll...." hints about weight loss.
I had been feeling bad for a while... had just gone through a scary pregnancy a year prior that left me with very bad infections needing several shots and monitoring to recover from..
I was definitely heavy and knew it, but also had been feeling very poorly.
Turns out I was 3 months pregnant.

I found out I was pregnant one week before I miscarried.
(It took me so long to realize I was pregnant because I didn't think it was possible to get pregnant at that point so I denied my signs.)
The week I miscarried was the week my Dad went in for surgery because his cancer was back.

Since so many didn't know I was even pregnant, and because so much was going on, it was a little secret I dealt with that only my sister and a very close friend new about.
I was weary, emotionally exhausted and still had a little baby at home who was less than a year plus a 2 year old son.

Needless to say it was a very difficult time.... Someone made the comment that they knew my marriage was struggling because they could just "tell". I was so upset I set her straight... my issues were the loss of my baby and the fact that my Dad's cancer wasn't only back, but he was dying.

Conclusions: When they are jumped to, they can cause intense pain and add to already difficult experiences.
When I was feeling horrible at Christmas, a person noticed I was heavy and acting lazy, therefore jumping to the conclusion that I just needed to eat less.
Those words and attitude towards me are something that still hurt when I think about them 5 years later.
When I was emotionally distraught, exhausted and physically weak, someone concluded that I was having marriage problems because that's all that "could explain your attitude".

It takes two seconds to say something or do something that can have a lasting affect, both positively and negatively..

Just recently, we were with some people and we were clearing the table to bring out dessert plates... my son asked "what can I do?" An older lady sitting at the table said "you can learn to sit there quietly and wait".
I was livid!
This lady assumed that my son was bored... not realizing that he was asking what he could do to help.

WHY do we jump to conclusions?!
Does it somehow do good for us?
Make us feel better?
Do we really have to jump to the worst conclusion about a situation or circumstance?
I'm not innocent of this either.
I have jumped to conclusions before, then been horrified to learn I was WAY off base in my assumption.

I realize it is what we do.
We assess what we see and try to discern what is going on and what is the underlying cause etc.
Wouldn't it be awesome if we automatically chose to assume the best scenario?
Jump to the most positive conclusion?!
Instead of thinking the worst, hoping for the best?
Yes, this would be great, because we would treat people around us in such a positive way.

Have you ever been in a room with someone you didn't know who was extra crabby and thought, "Wow, they are kind of a jerk!"?
The thing is, we don't know the back story.... we don't know that maybe that person just came from a funeral of a close friend earlier that day, or was fired, or just received really bad news, or faced a horrible loss.....
I've made wrong assumptions over a first impression of someone before that shamed me once I got to know the person.
I don't want to do that anymore.

Make conclusions only when based on fact, when you actually KNOW the situation.... this is what a conclusion is supposed to be.
You cannot conclude anything based on assumptions.

Assumptions can hurt.
Words can hurt.
They can also uplift and encourage.....

Lets encourage each other.
Lets hope for the best in each other...

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